Sad news from Leicester, where the Lord Mayor has been forced to apologise after dropping his trousers in front of a group of schoolchildren. When I saw the headline, I thought this was something sinister, but it turns out to be completely innocent (if we rule out the possibility of sabotage). As the good Alderman stood up, the trousers simply obeyed the law of gravity. The BBC has been briefed by the Mayor's "official spokesman" who, struggling for a convincing underlying explanation, can only come up with "he was not wearing a belt."

What's really awful about this is the way the poor chap is obliged to apologise for "any offence caused", as though this was a practical joke gone wrong. As if any of the hundreds of children present were not entirely delighted by the sight of his humiliation.

Free trouser suspension tip: Always Hope recommends the use of braces when wearing trousers that are only kept up by tummy pressure.


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