Saturday, December 11, 2010

Wikileaks - even the Church of England is not safe

As the Wikileaks US cables affair continues to rock international relations, today's headlines reveal that even the secretive and highly controlled organisation known as the Church of England is not safe from the shocking secrets revealed.

Following last week's astonishing news that Prince Andrew is sometimes quite rude, and that not everyone trusts Iran, we now know that the US applies the same high level of intelligence to the world of religion. Today Wikileaks reveals that the Vatican often attempts to influence the policy of nation states and, most amazingly, that Pope Benedict and Archbishop Rowan Williams don't always see eye to eye.

Church officials must surely be worried about what secrets might be exposed next. Rumours have long circulated, for example, that the Archbishop does not enjoy universal support within the Anglican Communion, and even that some members of the Church of England may be in favour of women as bishops.

But readers of Always Hope need wonder no longer, as thanks to our impeccable sources, we can exclusively preview the next batch of Wikileaks revelations from the worlds of politics, religion, and international espionage:
  • Gordon Brown, when Prime Minister, was known to be "left wing" in his views and actually favoured high taxation, US officials warned.
  • Many in the Church of England privately believed that Rowan Williams should have a beard trim and grade two all over.
  • Relations between France and the UK remain strained over Britain's insistence on names such as "the English Channel" and "Waterloo Station". This has become so bad that comedians in both nations regularly satirise the other with gross stereotypes poking fun at their accents, cooking, and temperaments.
  • The Queen is "quite posh" and never has sugar lumps or brown sauce on her dinner table.
  • The Bishop of London is suspected to be a royalist at heart.
  • The Pope is a Catholic.
  • A long term spying project in Russia has confirmed beyond doubt that bears frequently defecate in the woods.

3 comments:

Lesley said...

Ah.. and there is also the secret about what the bears do in the woods.

Great post :)

MatildasGranny said...

He he!
Those who don't like being talked about, shouldn't talk..

Bryonny G-H said...

All of this knowledge raises an important question: is Charlie Peer a Russian spy?